Humour
Quotes
The Easy Confidence
“I
never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
―
Groucho Marx
“The
easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to
suspect that my own is also.”
―
Mark Twain
“Seventeen,
eh!" said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.
"Six
years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?"
"Vaguely,"
said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door,
give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?"
"I
forge’ the details," Hagrid chortled.”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Life
doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
―
Woody Allen
“It
may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great
triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally
good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”
―
Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter,
Witch
“If
you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”
―
George Carlin
“Can
you be a girl for a few seconds?"
"I'm
always a girl" I frown.
"You
know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"
I
twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay.”
―
Veronica Roth, Divergent
“People,
generally, suck.”
―
Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
“It
crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.”
―
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
“See,
the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to
run one at a time.”
―
Robin Williams
“If
my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a
little faster.”
―
Isaac Asimov
“We
need to talk. All of us About what we're going to do now."
"I
was going to watch Project Runway.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
“But-"
Maia, still looking at Alec and Magnus, broke off and rasied her eyebrows.
Simon turned to see what she was looking at - and stared.
Alec
had his arms around Magnus and was kissing him full on the mouth. Magnus, who
appeared to be in a state of shock, stood frozen. Several groups of people -
Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike - were staring and whispering. Glancing to
the side, Simon saw the Lightwoods, their eyes widen, gaping at the display.
Maryse had her hand over her mouth.
Maia
looked perplexed. "Wait a second," she said. "Do we all have to
do that, too?”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Glass
“I
figured something out. The future is unpredictable.”
―
John Green, An Abundance of Katherines
“All
you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”
―
Mark Twain
“Sebastian
just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were
watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”
“That
you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for
him, to be honest.”
“What?”
For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Glass
“Moths,"
repeats Will. "You're afraid of moths?"
"Not
just a cloud of moths," she says, "like...a swarm of them.
Everywhere. All those wings and legs and..." She shudders and shakes her
head.
"Terrifying,"
Will says with mock seriousness. "That's my girl. Tough as cotton
balls."
"Oh,
Shut up.”
―
Veronica Roth, Divergent
“If
you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with
herpes.”
―
Chuck Palahniuk
“Space
is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I
mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's
just peanuts to space.”
―
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“I'll
try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
―
Mae West
“Rachel:
You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth:
Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel:
Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They
don't seem to care.”
―
Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth