Two
Wrongs Don't Make a Right
“I
refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
―
Douglas Adams
“Never
memorize something that you can look up.”
―
Albert Einstein
“Is
it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?"
"Yes."
"You
called her a liar?"
"Yes."
"You
told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?"
"Yes."
"Have
a biscuit, Potter.”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“Mr.
Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his
abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Mr.
Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an
ugly git.
Mr.
Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever
became a professor.
Mr.
Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the
slimeball.”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“He
can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“When
you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend
will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
―
Groucho Marx
“Some
humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large
switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World
Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
―
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
“When
you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a
red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
―
Albert Einstein
“There's
a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
―
Oscar Levant
“Two
wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
―
Thomas Szasz
“Substitute
'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it
and the writing will be just as it should be.”
―
Mark Twain
“Let
us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we
can."
Grover
cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe
blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing,"
Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french
fries."
Even
Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I
started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at
me. "I do not understand."
"I
want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..."
Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
―
Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse
“Death's
got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
"So
he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of
running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“You
know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best
golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold
the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't
want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named
"Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
―
Chris Rock
“It
means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies
Since 1234'.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Bones
“If
the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely
challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between
a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it
hard to plan the day.”
―
E.B. White
“Reader,
suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I
repeat myself.”
―
Mark Twain
“I
do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking
them a great deal.”
―
Jane Austen, Jane Austen's Letters
“Going
to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes
you an automobile.”
―
Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own
words which have won thousands for Christ
“The
planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
-
George Carlin
“If
a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk
a sign?”
―
Laurence J. Peter
“Do
you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get
dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It
was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As
soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I
knew we should have left you a rat.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Bones
