The
First Ten Lies
“I
like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
―
Jerome K. Jerome
“There
are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you
can boast about it.”
―
Bertrand Russell
“When
his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on
the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the
thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses
me off.”
―
Stephen King, Storm of the Century
“Malachi
scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City,
Magnus Bane."
"They
didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down."
"Really?"
the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed."
Magnus
looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He
glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Glass
“It
is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for
them!”
―
Friedrich Nietzsche
“There
is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the
Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced
by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There
is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
―
Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
THE
FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL
1.
We are here to help you.
2.
You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3.
The dress code will be enforced.
4.
No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5.
Our football team will win the championship this year.
6.
We expect more of you here.
7.
Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8.
Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9.
Your locker combination is private.
10.
These will be the years you look back on fondly.
TEN
MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL
1.
You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2.
Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3.
Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4.
The new text books will arrive any day now.
5.
Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6.
We are enforcing the dress code.
7.
We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8.
Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9.
There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10.
We want to hear what you have to say.”
―
Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak
“I
did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
―
Mark Twain
“Never
let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”
―
Isaac Asimov, Foundation
“Where
is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
―
Henry Ward Beecherr
“If
at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool
about it.”
―
W.C. Fields
“Well,
I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here
and rot."
"Forever?"
said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time."
Jace
raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me,
don’t you?”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
“I
generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
―
Mae West
“What
the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's
my fox hat."
"Your
fox hat?"
"Yeah,
Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why
are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because
no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
―
John Green, Looking for Alaska
“I
love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a
bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
―
maya angelou
“So
please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go
throw your TV set away,
And
in its place you can install
A
lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then
fill the shelves with lots of books.”
―
Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“I
was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
―
Mark Twain
“Happiness
is a warm puppy.”
―
Charles M. Schulz
“It
is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is
true, it's called Life.”
―
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
“Religion
has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky
who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any
of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning
and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and
choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But
He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's
all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle
money!”
―
George Carlin
