Humor
Quotes - In politics, stupidity is not a handicap
“Sometimes
the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.”
―
David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames
“Going
round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal.
Unless Isabelle makes it.”
―
Cassandra Clare, City of Bones
“We
did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now
let's have fun!”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“Did
you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the
entrance hall.
"Loved
it," said Lupin briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf.
Excellent question."
"D'you
think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock
concern.
"Think
I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around
the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's
sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus
Lupin...”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“I
really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite.”
―
Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
“Harry
— I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!”
And
she sprinted away, up the stairs.
“What
does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to
tell where the voice had come from.
“Loads
more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head.
“But
why’s she got to go to the library?”
“Because
that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the
library.”
―
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
“I
ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because
it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive,
but I have photographs of her.”
―
Ellen DeGeneres
“In
politics, stupidity is not a handicap.”
―
Napoleon Bonaparte
“In
wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
―
Benjamin Franklin
“Those
sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good
things come to those who wait.”
―
Jess C. Scott, The Intern
“Alice
laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible
things.'
I
daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I
always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!”
―
Lewis Carroll
“There
is nothing more luxurious than eating while you read—unless it be reading while
you eat. Amabel did both: they are not the same thing, as you will see if you
think the matter over.”
― E.
Nesbit, The Magic World
“Is
that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm
not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie
DeChooch”
―
Janet Evanovich, Seven Up
“It's
snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So
it is."
"And
freezing."
"Is
it?"
"Yes,"
said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we
haven't had an earthquake lately.”
―
A.A. Milne
“A
towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively
useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical
value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons
of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of
Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath
the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail
a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in
hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid
the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly
stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can
wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself
off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”
―
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
